BiddiesInMyBrain

Miss Crankypants V2.0

I was in a rotten mood this morning. All four times I got up, actually.

Unfortunately, I was so groggy and cranky by the fifth time that I took it out on Crash and spoiled his ebullient and effusive good mood in less than a split second when he came in and kissed me good morning and went to cheerfully wake me up. I am so sad I did that... it was an awful feeling, and I cried about it. Asked for a do-over on the day, which he was kind enough to give me.

But still, it dampened his mood, and I feel terrible about it.

The sixth time I got up I was in a very steady, controlled, calm mood. Not bouncy, not full of smiles and laughter, but not biting anyone's head off, either. Wish I could have mustered a little more sweetness and light, but it just wasn't there today.

It rained all night, so tilling the yard this morning was out of the question. Bah. We've really needed to get that done for weeks. So, no prospects for grass for another several weeks. At least.

The roses are just exploding. I watched them do so from my window; I was too cranky to go into the yard today, though doing so might have lifted my spirits some.

I think I figured out my Fall schedule, though ... I wil be taking an independent study with my geography/GIS prof (I would really like to get a publishable paper out of that), a stats course in the earth sciences department from another geography/GIS prof, and a research seminar in the history department (yay! history homework of the research type!!). And, I will be teaching evening classes again, either T/Th or M/W. Should know that by midsummer. Hope to know sooner, since I will need to plan my notes well in advance if I am teaching 2010; I've never taught first half American history and need some prep time over the summer. Yeah. One MORE thing.

Other than that, I have been in super-avoidance mode today... avoiding homework and grading like the plague. I have 70 exams to grade and two books to read and write papers on. I have plenty to do, and I had best be getting to it. ::sigh:: I really don't want to though. I'm just feeing burned out and stressed today.

Oh wait. I have a pill for that. ::palm to forehead:: Don't I have a pill for everything these days??

Vacation Watch: 47 days to go. ::whining:: Will it EVER get here?

Bushisms

If It's Been Such a Good Day...

... then why do I feel so blah?

I mean - I got 12 hours of sleep - almost - and only had two meetings and a couple of errands to run. But, I feel really, really blah at this point.

The absolutely amazing thing today is that, while I haven't been able to get out in the backyard due to the rain and soggy conditions, a good long peek out of the window confirms that we have at least double yesterday's blooms on the roses - again. Stunning. I can't help it, but I can't wait to get in the yard again tomorrow.

Went over to the University and met with the geography professor to see what I need to do to finish the semester. Actually, I am a lot closer than I thought; we went through all the power points for the rest of the semester - I went through the ones on which I had questions and he got in-depth on those - then we talked about my final project. I might even be able to get this done before grades are due, if I really apply myself next week. Hmmm. That's a thought. ::pondering::

Deciding whether I need to take a statistics class in the fall. I think I do, but need to figure out how to work it in. ::sigh:: The prof is really good, though.

I just saw John McCain say "I want to be on the record stating that I condemn remarks that are in any way anti-anything." WTF??? How about anti-racist? Let's just start there and ponder THAT for a minute. What a jerk.

Oh. No. Oh no no no...

I just found out a dear friend of mine - same age as I - passed away from a brain aneurysm a few days ago. I had just sent her an e-mail, thinking we were supposed to get together for lunch next week, and was wondering why I hadn't heard from her. :::sob::: Poor Adrian. What will he do without her? They only got married two years ago, and were so happy. I'm stunned.

For the people on the UU list, she was a old church member from Neshoba. E-me if you want more info. I don't have anything up-to-date from Adrian, but I do know what was going on health-wise with her. The memorial service is tomorrow in Munford.

And what about her family of greyhounds?

This is just awful.

I'm sorry. I have to sign off.

Just So You Know I'm Not the Only One...

...thinking that the mayor is looney tunes. I think Wendi Thomas is *right* on-track with this brilliant column from this past Sunday. I couldn't figure where on earth to cut it, so you get it in its entirety, with the caveat that you must, must, must credit Wendi Thomas with this wonderful bit of journalistic fortitude. I think I am in love.

From the Commercial Appeal, Memphis, TN, all rights reserved to them:

Herenton, Whalum in business of distractions

By Wendi C. Thomas (Contact)
Sunday, April 20, 2008

Apparently craziness, like misery, loves company.

Witness our latest pair of elected loonies -- Mayor Willie Herenton and Memphis City Schools board member Rev. Kenneth Whalum Jr.

Over the last few weeks, Herenton had the city by its collective tender bits when he threatened to remain mayor, and not resign in July as he'd indicated he would, unless he was handed the job of city schools superintendent. Now, he says he doesn't want the job he held from 1979 to 1991 because of the big, bad media.

In a letter to Whalum, Herenton wrote: "I regret that local media have highly politicized my sincere interest in helping the Memphis City Schools overcome its present challenges.

"Despite my passion for public education, I cannot consider becoming an applicant for the schools' superintendent position at this time."

Whalum, who never met a position on which he couldn't take a combative stance, wanted the board to abandon its search for a new superintendent. He even submitted Herenton's name to the firm charged with doing a national search.

Unlike Whalum, the rest of the school board has not indicated any interest in throwing good sense to the wind and giving Herenton an opportunity to replicate the cronyism at board headquarters that he has birthed at City Hall. The board is sticking by its decision to look far and wide for a superintendent.

Meanwhile, Whalum is sticking fast to his tactic of being a rebel on the board, which is good for nothing but TV sound bites.

"I think it's very unfortunate that my colleagues, apparently, cannot get past the mayor's personality," said a grinning Whalum on WMC-TV Channel 5's news Friday -- as if the board was ignoring the best choice just because Herenton can occasionally be prickly.

Come again?

Actually, don't come again. Instead, go. Now, please.

To be sure, Herenton's personality is a problem. He is arrogant and antagonizing, and in increasingly unnecessary ways.

I mean, did he have to say that he ran for a fifth term because he had to protect the city from the alternatives, challengers Carol Chumney and Herman Morris?

Of course he didn't.

But he must get a high from creating drama and drawing attention to himself. And if so, he's been higher than he'd like our property taxes to be.

But worse than his personality is his lack of leadership.

Remember Herenton's stunning display of compassion following the killings of the six people on Lester Street?

Of course you don't. In the days of communitywide grieving after that horrible March day, Herenton was not to be found.

Remember the fine example Herenton set by making sure his taxes were paid on time before he suggested a 17 percent property tax increase?

Of course you don't. Because Herenton couldn't even be bothered to pay months-late taxes until his tardy trifling was exposed last week.

Remember how Herenton held a press conference to declare the last thing he'd ever recommend is closing libraries and community centers because what we need are more places for children to play safely and more places for citizens to expand their minds, not fewer?

You don't remember that either, because instead, Herenton wants to shutter five libraries and four community centers.

It's like the soap opera that never ends, and we're stuck with a TV with one channel -- all Herenton drama, all the time.

It's been rumored that Whalum has mayoral aspirations, but when I've queried him, he's been coy, acknowledging only that others have suggested he seek the city's highest office.

I'm not sure if Whalum and Herenton have entered into some unholy pact that ends with Herenton back at the school district and Whalum on a path to City Hall.

But I do know this -- right now, both of them serve primarily as distractions from the business of improving the city and its schools.

The two are just bizarre enough to deserve each other, but Memphis deserves better.

Contact Wendi C. Thomas at (901) 529-5896 or e-mail thomasw@commercialappeal.com.

Oh, SNAP! I'm Up and Moving!

I *finally* managed to get up at 7ish this morning and get motivated to work, even though I am not due on campus until 11. Been grading makeup exams and generally just getting things done around here. Want to go sit outside in a different place in the shade and grade the rest of the exams, but it's stil too chilly - 68 degrees. I guess I could take a cappuccino out there, but I don't feel like piling anything else on my tummy right now.

It's going to be a hot day today - up in the mid-eighties - and sunny. Looking forward to it immensely - yesterday was so dull and dark.

I want a pedicure. My feet look awful, and I have a sore spot on my right foot where I prop it against the ottoman every day. Maybe going for a pedicure would be a nice thing to do this afternoon. Hmmm.

The electrical work for the central heat and air will be going in next week. YAY! SO excited. I meet with the contractors (both the heat and air guy, and the electrical contractor) on Monday. Can't wait, can't wait, CAN'T WAIT.

Oh. No. Someone is working in our BRANCH NEW DITCH (remember that trauma from the past two years??) with a jackhammer. :::thud::: I could scream. :::is screaming::: I was *so* enjoying listening to the birds.

OK... I need to get back to the exams. These ones are even worse than the ones I graded which were on-time, which, I guess, is to be expected. But dang. The Connectall Congress?

Continuation of Schmathsma

Phone call was about the ethics issues I have been coping with on the part of someone in another organization that I am fighting tooth and nail. I am out for blood at this point. All I have is my integrity, and I am not about to stand by and knowingly watch someone do something so patently unethical - and possibly felonious. Ain't gonna happen, guy, and you and your executive committee will not see me backing down on this one little bit. YOU'RE IN THE WRONG AND SHOULD LOSE YOUR JOB OVER IT - if not your license to practice law. So there. 'Nuff said.

Whoosh. Don't piss me off IRL. Really. It may take me a long time to come to a boil anymore in real life situations, but when I finally do boil, man, I think it's like bubbling steel: deadly.

Meant to tell y'all before the call that I have added to my April 08 At Home photo album here on Typepad. It now includes what is, perhaps, my very favorite picture ever of Jenny and Jack together. There are two pics of the two of them on there... but the one where they are both perked up... well, that one got printed and is on the fridge. There are also rose pics, and some pics of buds and other growing things in the yard.

Did I tell you the 400 pound trash can fell on me last night (I am estimating the weight because it fell on me and damn, did it hurt!)? Knocked me right over, and once I got out from under it and got it righted - which was a trick in itself - it was next to impossible to roll to the street it was so heavy. I am bruised today but good. Damn trash can.

There's really not much else to say... it's sunny again outside and the temp is back up to 76. It's late enough in the day that I can go outside safely without worrying about getting burned again, so I may do that. Then again, I may take a bath and go up front and curl up in one of Grandma's super-comfy reading chairs. Either option sounds good. Somehow, though, I need to work in dinner-like food at some point, and that doesn't enthuse me at all; just SO not into it.

Until later. 

Schmasthma

Well, that's the attitude I am trying to take towards the asthma, anyway. I'm well into my yellow zone (my yellow zone is between 200-375, and I am right at 300) - but it's been many, many years since that has happened, and I can't remember what to do except take my albuterol. I think I need to refill my azmacort and start back on that full time for a couple of weeks until the seasonal allergies calm down. But in the meantime, I am wheezing and coughing my way through life. I sound like a bad pump bellows on a pipe organ.

But.

I am having a reasonably good day (once you discount the usual morning discomfort and all) and I have the rest of it to myself to get studying and grading done. Only one more round of grading after this and I will be DONE DONE DONE with the grading and only have my own work to concentrate on.

Have decided to take on teaching first half American history this fall, if I can pull the time slots. Means I will be teaching in the evenings again, I suspect, but that worked out better for me than did the daytime teaching. I hate morning classes, and there are *very* few afternoon classes for undergrads - and they conflict with the times the classes *I* need to take are offered. So, it's back to night classes (they're my faves, anyway). Will need to check the time on *one* more class before I commit to that schedule, though. It will be a good challenge for me... I need to teach that time period to really feel comfortable with it (it is, after all, my first minor field), and the opportunity is there. Voila.

Had a mild thunderstorm pass through here a while ago and the temps went back down into the 60s (from 87)... but now they are climbing again. I've had the windows open the whole time - the rain came down perfectly vertically with no wind, so I just enjoyed the smell of fresh, moist earth and the sound of large, mushy raindrops. It was delightful.

Have I told you lately just how much I love Levenger? They're a tad on the upscale side of things, but dang - I've never had better customer service in my life. Their products seem to be made for bibliophiles to drool over - and they last for forever despite the drool and constant petting of soft, supple leather (I love their paper products and home office supplies, too... just amazing). If only I could kit out my house with their products exclusively. Oh MY would I be happy. And have I told you their customer service is unmatched?? ::grin::

I want to pat myself on the back and brag for a moment, though. Will you indulge me? I was in kind of a funk on Saturday and decided to check the mail. As y'all know, mail is a crapshoot - you never know what it will bring - more often than not, it's junk or misdelivered. However, when I went up front to look there was this large, stiff envelope with my name on it - and I had NO CLUE what it was. So, thinking it was a scam, I opened it with some frustration and none to carefully. Out fell a beautiful certificate, a lapel pin, a sticker for my car and a letter... from an honor society to which I had applied MONTHS ago (like December or January?). I figured they had forgotten about me when I hadn't heard anything from them for so long... and I had kinda forgotten about them too. Well, ::embarrassed:: I read the letter and it said that due to the "outstanding quality" of my "entire body of work" they were awarding me with a lifetime membership in this honor society ... and had waived the lifetime membership fee - all fees, actually. AND, they have left my application with the scholarship committee. ::blushing:: I didn't think my application was *that* good - and clearly they are unaware of the work I have been doing this semester! But dang. I am humbled and gobsmacked. ::grinning:: Thus ends the shameless plug and brag.

Speaking of schoolwork, I am only taking one incomplete - in the GIS class - and I hope to have it cleared by the end of May. Everything else should be done by the middle of next week, if not sooner. The Directed Readings prof is giving me my grade for the work I have done so far, and will be working with me this summer on the readings we haven't completed, moving towards comps... and I am finishing now the work for the Gender in American Politics class - I will have that complete by the end of the week, I think - barring that, then early next week. Much relief ensues.

Met with the Directed Readings prof and, while I did not cry, my voice did crack when I told him I didn't think my work was NEARLY the quality I was capable of performing and I didn't want him to grade me on the work completed thus far - that I wanted the incomplete. He was stunned - said no, he felt my work was fine, and that he intended to assign me an 'A' and that we would continue to work all summer, it that's fine with me. It is just perfect. Really. I also talked with him about my mental illness issues and having to go off Prozac cold turkey ... first time I have ever discussed that with a professor of mine, but I did want him to understand that there has been a very real, chemical reason I have been unable to function the past two weeks. Thankfully, he understood more than I could possibly have realized. Great guy - and I respect him immensely.

Gotta run... phone call.

::::CONFETTI::::

Hey! 30,031 visitors!!! WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN??

::dancing:: Ya'll love me (or at least you click on me when you're bored!)

THANKS!!

Burn, Baybee, Burn

Oh my. I don't know which or how many of my medications are making me so dang photosensitive, but WOW. I look like a lobster - despite the multiple applications of suncreen yesterday, and sitting in the shade this morning before the sun really got high in the sky. ARRRGH!

Had the last meeting for my wonderful Gender in Politics class today... will miss it very much. Tomorrow I will get in to school to meet with the professor for the GIS class - I am taking an incomplete for that class and will work it out over the summer. I also met today with my Directed Readings prof - we're going to be continuing the readings well into the summer and just parlay them into Readings for Comps during Fall Term. Sounds good to me - I will only carry one incomplete into the summer.

Some grading to do - not bad, but still some to get done tomorrow.

Dragged the huge rolling trash bin to the street this evening and discovered it weight about 400 pounds. How did I first discover this? When it tipped over on top of me. Ouch. I feel a little banged up. It is not normally too tough to drag to the street, but tonight? Yikes. I almost couldn't get it out there.

Been dealing with an ethics issue on the part of some people with whom I am less-than-fortunately (name-only) associated, and may be called to be a witness in the ensuing hearings about the situation. I know I did the right thing by whistle-blowing (this may end up being a felony prosecution case, depending, of course, on how far they choose to take it), but it sure is tough. Integrity is the only thing I've got intact, and I intend to keep it. I cannot stand by and watch something patently illegal occur. I just can't do it. And no, I really can't say more about that at this time.

Crash is playing Wizard of Oz all week this week, then for the next three weeks he is playing Beauty and the Beast - won't be seeing much of him, unfortunately. But, it's good money, and he likes getting out in the community and performing.

Worried about my FIL - he is having hip pain and can't walk it out, which is frustrating him to no end. Hope the pain is transitory and not something that needs further medical attention. His 83rd birthday is coming up in the beginning of May. Wow... like SOON. Next week!

Meanwhile, I am just really trying to keep my head above water, and the arrangements I made today for my schoolwork for the next several weeks really, really helped that. I *am* feeling better - I think the new anti-depressant is taking hold finally - and the meds issues in general seem to be sliding into place. My tummy still hurts, but not that gawdawful gut-wrenching, climb the sheets and the walls pain - not all the time, anyway. I'm losing weight right and left - that happens when you are on such a restricted diet that you can't eat anything anyway - and am finally seeing my way through the depression miasma that has been my home for the past several weeks.

Now if I could just stop sunburning myself so badly. THAT has got to stop!