BiddiesInMyBrain

Wordle

So fun!! Try it out. Here's mine (click to jump to larger image):

"Wordle is a toy for generating “word clouds” from text that you provide. The clouds give greater prominence to words that appear more frequently in the source text. You can tweak your clouds with different fonts, layouts, and color schemes. The images you create with Wordle are yours to use however you like. You can print them out, or save them to the Wordle gallery to share with your friends."

I Was Asked About 9/11

I don't normally respond to questions about 9/11. You'll understand why in a moment. But one of my friends asked this in such a kind, gentle way, that I though I would respond. In places it's a little curt - but that's because of the difficulty of the memories. Please treat them kindly.

The question was, very simply, "Where were you on 9/11?"

I was in bed when the first plane hit, but I got a call from a shaken, frantic friend saying, "A plane has crashed into the tower... A plane has crashed into the tower!" Living in Memphis, I though it was Clark Tower, and started to turn on local news and she said "NO NO NO... national news."

We were talking on the phone and watching in tandem when the second plane hit live. She and I screamed, and she came over here while still on her cell phone.

We sat on my sofa, glued to the television, watching the Pentagon attack, following along in Pennsylvania, and witnessing the horror and inflated numbers and the extra reports of bombs at the State Department (whatever was THAT about?) and other terrorist attacks around the country... and the reports of attacks against Arabic people, Muslims and Jews.

I called my husband to let them know what had happened - they had no idea - and finally got through to the headmistress. She made a choice to move the kids out of the old JCC building into the newer building and play games the rest of the afternoon - or until parents came to pick up their kids.

Anyway, I was sitting on the sofa with Sasa, hands wrapped together, head-to-head, and in utter disbelief. Then the first tower started splitting and I said.... Melissa - the tower is crashing down... and she and I sat there and watched the unreal happen. Then WTC1 fell and it was just beyond disbelief.

I couldn't sleep properly for months afterword, and would curl up on the sofa after Crash fell asleep, and I would watch the ticker on the tv all night and listen and watch all day, 24/7, recording in a diary the things I saw and heard. I got on the computer and printed out political cartoons and photos to put in the diary. I was clinically depressed and completely obsessed... I just couldn't get the horror out of my mind.

I still have the diary, but as with most things 9/11, I can't bear to watch, read, or peruse. It's just too... raw... yet. I don't like talking about it (though I will on occasion blog about it), and I REALLY hate when politicians use it and bastardize it as a means to try and reach voters.

I wonder when (if) it will *ever* be less raw - enough less raw - that I can talk about it without terror creeping up my back and into my fingers. It shook me and changed me... and I turn off the television on 9/11 for that reason. I just don't deal with the commercialization of the whole thing - the cable-newsification of it. The only thing I *did* catch last night was something on MSNBC where they were running raw footage from '01... and with the commentary FROM THAT DAY... now THAT I could watch - a little bit. The slightly grainy, paper-flying-everywhere, fiery, smoky, dusty morning. Not that cleaned up heroic smudge-on-the-face made-for-tv-movie crap we have been left with to rework our minds and memories.

That's it in a nutshell today. I don't know if I have it in me to write any more than that right now... There's only so much I can take of it, you know? My therapy for that took 5 months following the attacks and consisted of stream-of-consciousness writing and clipping of pictures and political cartoons. I am patriotic, I love my country. However, it seems that as a country, we must still mark that day.

Please forgive me if, for now, I can't.

Attention Sarah Palin

I know this is making the rounds, but I love it and thought it quite appropriate for right here. ::stern look:: Pay attention, Sarah. And thanks, Ann, for the forward.

Been working all day on dissertation stuff, except when I was in Stats class - both of which are coming along VERY well, thank you! I am really enjoying stats - completely forgot the math geek within (I took up to differential equations as an undergrad just for the heck of it) - and am thrilled to be back into the dissertation stuff... more happy than I can tell you! I've got an enormous (and I do mean ENORMOUS) pile of journal articles to annotate - probably 100+ - but I am getting a kick out of revisiting them and getting the data added into EndNote and ready to print out sometime in the next week or two - I hope.

Hoping my SILs wedding won't get rained out - it's been hot and sultry here, with lots and lots of moisture in the air. Yuckky weather. It's too bad she didn't have it two weeks ago - it was absolutely lovely then.

Well, I am going to plow into the dissertation again - I really don't want to put it down until 10pm tonight - or maybe even later. We'll see. I'm just having a ball playing in the sandbox again. ::grin::

UPDATE (Friday): Got through 21 articles yesterday. Wanted to do more, but at 7 pm my body all of a sudden said PUT YOUR HEAD DOWN NOW. And I listened. Got through a couple more papers after that, but the streak was broken, and I went to bed around 11:30. The problem with that? I didn't sleep a *wink* last night. SOOO TIRED! Long day today, too... meetings, vet visit, then rehearsal and rehearsal dinner for SIL's wedding tomorrow. Ahhhh well. I'll sleep tonight. Right?

::whistling innocently::

Nope, I haven't been up to anything today. Nope. Not at all.

::grin::

Really, I haven't, but I feel as though I have. I have a sly smile and a giggle, and I have no idea why. But I sure do feel full of myself.

::chuckle::

I *did* get a new dress for my SIL's wedding this weekend - I *love* it - it's a deep royal purple... a kicky knee-length thing with pleats and a bow. I feel cute and sassy in it. As many of you know, I have been struggling with what to wear, and this solves the problem in one fell swoop, thanks to a dear friend over on LJ. She rocks.

:::giggle::: Honestly - I have no idea where The Giddy is coming from - I have a ton of work to get done tonight!

Picked up Hobbes' new glucometer... one especially designed for cats and dogs... whooboy, was that a budget breaker! But, it means we will have much more accurate readings and can take them much more often - and that's a good thing. Hobbes may disagree.

::grin::

All is well. I am off to grade papers and write one of my own - notes, actually, for an oral report tomorrow. Should be an interesting exercise. Then, Thursday and Friday I can FINALLY really get into my dissertation. HOORAH!

SMILE TODAY! It's good for you!

:::glowing:::

Went to church yesterday for the Ingathering / Water Communion celebration... it was a packed house and ever so wonderful... Rev Bill talked about Angels Among Us by example of bullies and those who stand up against bullying. I could really relate to it because I was heavily bullied as a child and young adult - I was shy, wore glasses from second grade up, was way ahead of my class when it came to academics most of the time, and dressed unlike most people (I didn't have "in" clothes)... and every time I tried to make inroads with the kids in my grade they just laughed and made me feel horrible. What did I do? By the time I was in fourth grade *I* was the bully. I just couldn't take it any more. Most people look at bullying as conflict resolution... but really it is something else entirely and has nothing to do with conflict; it's a matter of respect (and self-respect). Rev Bill let me borrow his copy of Letters to Olivia, a moving book from which he took a great deal of his Homily inspiration. It's a book about self-affirmation, and affirmation from anonymous people who were - dare I say Angels? - who wrote to a heavily bullied girl in California to help her realize that she had worth and dignity. Such a tremendous story.. and I can't wait to read it. I was moved to tears by Rev. Bill's homily and it was one of those moments where everything *clicked*. Thank you, Bill.

Crash and I also went to dinner at the Macaroni Grill. I had the most incredible Lobster-stuffed Ravioli... OMG - to die for. Crash had a seafood pasta dish... and they gave us an anniversary chocolate cake on the house with a candle in it. I teared up completely when one of the wait staff came over and sang the most gorgeous classical Italian anniversary song. She sang like an angel and I was so moved. Not this Chili's thing of coming over and hollering a song and clapping, but a lovely, lovely song, just for us. I am tearing up just thinking about it.

Then, we went over for the last try on The Project for this cycle. I didn't even have a glass of wine - I was too stuffed from dinner to even think about it. ::grin:: We're really hoping - the excitement is building, and we test on the 21st. ::fingers crossed:: Keep up with the whole thing over on Another Handmaid's Tale over on blogspot. Aiiiieeee!

Today is a study day... I haven't even gotten dressed yet and it's two in the afternoon. Need to be thinking about that soon as I need to head to the Universary in two and a half hours. SO MUCH to do on my homework, and it's just terribly hard to concentrate sometimes. But, I am forging ahead on old Rufus, and the Stats homework. It's just the dissertation stuff that is falling by the wayside a little bit - and that just cannot happen. After Wednesday (which is the due date for the Rufus first report) I can finally hit the dissertation Indepedent Study really, really hard. It's just that I have had such early deadlines with everything else.

Must go... have a great day, y'all.