BiddiesInMyBrain

::chuckle::

I guess we've been married long enough that anniversaries are a bit passe; the 17th wedding anniversary of our civil ceremony was on Wednesday and we utterly forgot until late last night, in the middle of a trivia game with friends. We were a bit chagrined, to say the least. I mean - I forget these things all the time - I have forgotten my own birthday (though it happens less now that I have a Palm)... but our anniverary? Somehow I missed entering that into Outlook or something and I didn't get a reminder, and the French exam completely flummoxed me. In my defense, I remembered it last Friday. ::chuckle:: I know. That doesn't help one bit! Happy Anniversary, Crash! I love you to pieces! At least we have a second chance in September with the anniversary of our family ceremony... which nobody else remembers, either! We're up against impossible odds! ::heading over to Outlook to do some entering of data::

Crash is practicing, and it is lovely to hear the sounds of his violin - I miss that during the school year, when he practices at school and on campus before and in between teaching and never at home. He has also been SUCH a trooper and has been out in the yard digging up a path for me to brick in (I can do the brick work of laying the path, but I can't dig up the old lava rock and bedding - it throws my back out badly), and pulling weeds in our central garden area. It looks SO MUCH BETTER. Kudos to Crash!

Was watching CNN earlier today and they had a real goof: they were talking about the weather system off the Atlantic coast bringing torrential rains and severe weather to the southern Atlantic states and that they may take quite a battering - really harping on the point that there could be a battering and Bad Things Could Happen... all the while showing Jesse Jackson on the screen with a caption on the screen to the effect of "Bad Tidings" or something like that in relation to his comments on Obama and use of the n-word. I couldn't help but laugh - and their attempt at recovery from the obvious goof was hilarious. OH - and what makes it even funnier is that Jeannie Moos had just parodied John McCain' goof with the Viagara / birth control fiasco of last week and used footage from The Daily Show to highlight the inanity. I really do hope that Jon Stewart picks up this gaffe.

It is really odd to see the DJIA and the NASDAQ so far out of whack with each other - the Dow gained reasonably, but the NASDAQ dropped substantially - by some 30 points or so. Usually they move fairly in tandem. Odd. Yeah, I've been reading Barron's lately, and am paying a little more attention to things like that. It's interesting reading, but as with everything, you've got to take it a bit cynically or you'll go crazy. Alan Abelson's weekly column is pretty good, though, and worth checking out - you can get it free on the Barron's website, if I am not mistaken, at http://online.Barrons.com (if that doesn't work, try www.barrons.com). I know, I know. It's really weird to see me, of all people, talking about the stock market. Go figure.

Played trivia last night with a group of friends - and we won! It was great fun! I was designated driver, so I had sodas and played along, having a ball... I think we missed one, maybe two questions, the whole night, and on the last wager we bet all the remaining 20 points and scored a decisive win over all the other teams in the bar. Rock on! I'm not usually someone who even enters a bar - I don't like smoke at all - but this was fun, and I went willingly. Took a monster bath when we got home and the clothes are in the wash, and all is well with the world. ::grin:: I needed to get out of my shell; I've been hiding at home for nearly a month since we got home from Colorado.

This weekend we may be going to Kaleigh's house for a party (K and her husband were the ones to get us out for trivia)... I hope to continue to be in an outgoing mood; I have been having to force myself to get out and do things lately due to an ongoing depression thing. Summers are tough, and focus is hard to come by sometimes. Well, a lot of the time. We're working on it therapeutically, and I hope to be in a better place in the next couple of weeks. Have to be: school starts in about four, five, weeks.

Wish I had the time to read some "for fun" books - I have a pile a foot high on my bedside table, and another foot-wide shelf full of them in the underside of the bedside table as well. Maybe when I get to the point of doing lesson planning next month I can sneak in a few. That would be such a delight; they've been stacking up for about a year now, and these are the best of the best.

Am getting rid of my library school books. Most of them, anyway, and have offered them to my grandma's library up in Ohio since they just experienced a devastating set of floods that destroyed a huge part of their collection. I am waiting to hear back from their director to see if they want them - they're some terrific books, and I want them to go someplace where they will be appreciated and needed. And, needless to say, I don't have any desire to keep them anymore. That part of my life is closed.

Well, it's time to start considering what's for dinner. I think we are having blue-cheese-stuffed burgers and sauteed carrots... at least that was the plan two hours ago. I'm not hungry, but since I really haven't eaten today I really need to remedy that. The weight is coming off too quickly, and I am a little nervous about that - no appetite and nausea worries me - and I see the gastroenterologist on Friday next week. I have now lost 80 pounds since my highest weight in 2003, and nearly 15 in the past two months alone, after gaining back over the past year what I had lost in the hospital. I'm not trying to lose weight, but it is just falling off me... and while the weight loss is welcome, it does bother me that it is coming off this way, and that I really don't enjoy food anymore for the most part. Every so often Crash is able to tempt me with something I love, but that is few and far between these days. Wish we could come up with some answers.

I'm off!

Goodness!

It appears Miss Crankypants struck again this past weekend! However, I have good news: I'm feeling much better and have reverted (mostly) back to my usual even and easygoing demeanor.

Needless to say, I did NOT take my morning dose of Rifampin. Ugh! I called the doc about it, and he officially took me off of it, though he would like me to take one experimental dose late this week to make certain that was the cause of my symptoms this weekend and not just a random summer cold/flu-like thing. I am NOT looking forward to that!

Poor Crash has had a long day - and a bizarre one. Further, something last week took a chunk out of the top of his hand - some sort of bug - and it has gotten infected, so I lanced it, pulled a lot of infection out of it, cleaned it really, really thoroughly, and now have it all bundled up with plenty of antibiotic cream. Poor guy.  

But still, we went out tonight to Sushi Happy Hour at A-Tan... and as always, we were very, very happy - three rolls and one nigiri for $12. YUM.

Crash is currently at a going-away party for a colleague of his from school. I am still feeling just iffy enough that I didn't want to push it too hard, so I am staying home and trying to continue the upward trend. I slept almost the whole day and feel pretty perky, but unsteady, so here I am.

Don't know much else - but I am happy to have banished Miss Crankypants yet again. She's a tough one sometimes.

Trying to Get Over the Crabbies

My usual bouyant mood is somewhat marred by the really lousy feeling that I am coming down with the flu. However, it would appear that this feeling is also one of the potential side effects of the Rifampin I am taking for the sinus infection, so I am taking Tylenol and trying to grin and bear it; only ten more days. However, I am calling the doc tomorrow and making sure that this isn't a bad side effect, just annoying. The Cipro has never made me feel like this, so I am assuming it's the Rifampin. Nasty stuff.

This morning was a comedy of errors involving two of our animals, the house-flipper next door, and a colleague of Crash's - and the whole fiasco began at 5:30 - so I didn't get too much sleep last night on top of the flu-like feeling. Needless to say, I didn't make church today, and I was really planning on it to the point that I had picked out what I was going to wear the night before; usually I just throw something on the morning of. I am really sorry to have missed this morning's sermon - we had a guest pulpit leader - Rabbi Micah Greenstein - and he was talking about why America needs liberal religion. I can't wait to hear the details from Crash when he gets home this afternoon. The Rabbi always gives a good talk, and I am sure this was no exception.

Watched Casablanca this morning/afternoon on TCM - I had forgotten how much I love that movie. But, now the television is off and I am hunkering in to study hard. Mostly French, but some history in there, too.

Don't know much else, but I am going to try to stop biting people's heads off and recognize that I am the one who is really off right now.

Mea maxima culpa to anyone I have really snapped at lately. ::hugs::

Playing Along

Today is just... a struggle to get through, for some reason.

Woke up with the dog at 5:30 a.m. in what is becoming a (mostly) unwelcome ritual and, after taking the massive morning round of antibiotics, went back to bed. The antibiotics are tearing me apart and I just feel... blah... and really don't have any energy, so bed was pretty much where I stayed until noon.

Got up and puttered and am studying, but really - *all* I want to do is go back to bed. I am yearning for it with every fiber of my being and resisting it as hard as I can. I really need to be up - much to be done - but am not getting much done because I feel so crappy.

French exam is on Wednesday... and I feel *so* unprepared - and utterly unmotivated to try and remedy the situation (see above).

Feeling guilty about hating Jesse Helms with the viscera I do - but I can't help it. I hate very few people, but he has been a long-time target for my anger. I cannot forgive his racism and stupidity, nor is it mine to forgive. We can move forward much more readily with him out of the picture. He stands as a bad example of what parts of this country once were and are, I hope, no more. We *can* overcome... even me. I wish I could be as charitable as the blogger Fausto quoted in my comments - that it's a shame he didn't live to see the 2009 election - but I am just so glad he is gone. Thich Nhat Hahn would have a field day with my anger ... but so be it. I own it, and it is mine. My bad.

Sorry today's entry is such a downer. Maybe I *should* go back to bed and maybe I will awake refreshed in a little while. God, I am just so exhausted I can hardly move.

::chuckle:: I am just going to roll with the punches

What else can I do??

Woke up this morning with the dog at 5:30 and realized when I stood up that my back and hips were at a lightning pain of about an 8-9 on a scale of ten... excruciating... and I think this has to do with all the driving I did last month - the pain is in all the right places. I took pain meds and tried working in the yard for a couple hours, stretching my muscles, but it just didn't work. Came in and took more pain meds and went back to bed.

Was awakened by a call from my ENT's office... the sinus swab came back positive for an exotic bacteria, so I am on Cipro and another heavy-duty antibiotic normally used for TB. @@ I feel so... honored.

::chuckle:: I am just going to throw up my hands and giggle tonight. What else is there to do?

Home Again Home Again

Jiggety Jig!

We got home yesterday, about 5:15 - easy traffic across the I-40 bridge coming into Memphis, though we were a little unnerved by all the huge fires in eastern Arkansas. No clue what they were doing, but we saw at least 10 HUGE fires start and then get put out as we were driving from Little Rock to the state line. So weird. Couldn't figure it out - and nothing on the radio, so it must have been something business-as-usual - but what?

Came home and found everything in order - except that one of the burners on the stove had been accidentally jiggled in the morning when our house sitter came over and gas had been seeping into the house all day - freaked us out, but no harm done, thankfully. Took a good airing out, but all is well, and the kitties are just fine.

Turned in someone for driving erratically in a company van in western Arkansas, too... they had a "How Am I Driving?" sticker on the back of the van, so we told the folks at the 800 number just how they were doing! We've never done that before, and it was a little unnerving - Crash actually called it in, but it just had to be done - this woman was nuts. Driving 69 in a 70 - then 80 - then right on our butt (within a car length or two) for a mile or two - then slamming on her brakes and swerving out into the passing lane to pass us doing 80 - and doing the same with semis and other cars. For 25 or 30 miles. We finally had a opportunity to get the number down just before she got off the interstate. Hope she gets the book thrown at her.

The earache has subsided a lot, but I still went to the doc today - and she is sending me to an ENT on Friday... this has become chronic and must be dealt with by a specialist (another one???) at this point. Sinus infections and ear infections for six weeks straight? No thank you. We'll see what the ENT says and go from there. Can't believe the number of specialists I am collecting.

ANYWAY... about the trip! It was INCREDIBLE!! Two train rides (yes, I will get the pics up tonight or tomorrow - I took more than 250 and it will take a while to get through all of them), fantastic food (True Grits AKA the Shrine to John Wayne... and the SLV Brewing Company, both in Alamosa, CO, serve terrific food, and the home-cooked meals at Dad's were FANTASTIC), unparalleled company (gotta love my dad and stepmom, and my uncle)... and the wildlife. Saw deer, elk, TWO BEARS (I only saw one - a yearling - and saw it within about 20 feet - YIKES - Crash saw the second, larger one, from about a 1/4 mile), bighorn sheep, antelope, golden hawks, eagles... just incredible. But I am very tired - drove all but three hours of the 19 home - and with the earache, I am just beat. As I said, it will take me some time to get all this up on the website - and I will not be posting anywhere near all of them - just some select few of them - but you will get the idea. This was perhaps the most incredible trip I have taken in the past decade... really amazing.

It's good to be home to the kitties and Jenny, though. And my own bed and soft, soft sheets. But I surely do miss the mountains something awful. Did you know it was in the 40s at night and in the 70s during the day where we were? ::poking at all y'all who've been suffering through the nineties::. Yeah. But I'm in the land of the double and triple digits now too, and am looking back wistfully on the weather, the scenery and the company. What a treat.

More later.

ADDENDUM: Forgot to mention the hummingbirds - probably between 18-23 at the feeders at the house, dining on a 2:1 sugar:water ratio. They were going through 8 cups of sugar/water mix every DAY AND A HALF when we left, and that wasn't even peak season. WOW. And so many different colors and varieties of hummingbirds up there. Just beautiful.

THIS is the Kind of Stuff I Put Up With... No, Really!

Thanks, Ann, for passing this gem along: Modern Humanist It's a "response" to a very poorly, yet creatively written, term paper. It might even outdo our President Henry from last semester...

Actually, Crash did the putting-up-with all day today.. I was crabby after chuch, at Costco, when we got home.... and until I went to bed for a nap. Got up and everything was fine, but dang... cranky is as cranky does.

Went through my entire closet, my tops drawer, my three drawers of slacks, shorts and capris (yes, I have an entire drawer of capris. How did that happen??) - and got rid of a LOT. GOODWILL! In the meantime, I discovered that some of my favorite clothes - clothes I really couldn't bear to be rid of (I bought a lot of them when I was up in Ohio taking care of my grandma when she broke her hip in 1999 and they fit for all of six months - some gorgeous stuff), but were too small the past several years - now fit beautifully. I have gotten rid of so many clothes the past two summers - all the 2x and 3x - including suits and dresses - lots of sweatshirts, slacks that are now oversize by five or six sizes.. the list goes on and on. Anyway we dropped off one bag yesterday, and have another bag for tomorrow. And if anything, these clothes are nicer than most of last summer's goodies; these are the ones I had saved for "just in case I gained the weight back," so they are in great shape and in materials I love. Ahhh, let someone have a go at them!

Suitcase is packed (mostly) and the miscellaneous loose ends I need to tie up in the next two days don't seem too onerous. Had to pack the suitcase to last me three weeks and three different climate zones. It's going to be interesting - and it's a lot more than I wanted to bring! But, I got all the clothes into one suitcase, and the toiletries into a bag I use just for that purpose... and have my black messenger bag filled and at the ready. All that remains is to put in the loose bathroom stuff I use every day into the toiletries bag on Wednesday morning. Am finally looking forward to getting up to Louisville, now that I have a couple days to think about it and rest a little before the chaos hits. Then it's scoot back here the following Wednesday (arriving early Thursday - early enough to catch a few hours' sleep, I hope) then head out for Colorado. Whee! Mustn't forget the fresh spearmint, peppermint and rosemary from our garden. They won't let me in the house in Colorado without them. LOL

Tomorrow? I have to go to the tire and service place to have the car checked to make sure all is well for the trip. Then I am going to vacuum, wash and wax it. Then come home and take a nap since I am up this late and need to be up early early tomorrow. Hope to help clean the house some, too - like mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms, etc... - to help Crash while I am gone, and to help him leave the house neat when I come get him next week; all the way around this takes a lot of burden off him, as he already has a Honey-Do list that is quite lengthy.

Had a terrific time in services this morning - really terrific - great sermon (yay Rev Bill!) and the music? We were *ON* today. This was the second-to-last Sunday for our Director of Music and we went all out trying to show him what we have learned while we have been under his tutelage. He is incredible, as is his wife, and we will miss them dearly. FTR, it was after the postlude that I really started getting crabby. Hungry and tired - and coming down from an incredible musical high - was not a good combo.

I am afraid that Sophia the outdoor kitty appears to have met with an accident... that, or some kind soul has adopted her, for she is gone. She has been gone for several days now, and every morning we open the door, hoping against hope she will be there, but no luck. Such a sweet girl. My heart is just a little bit broken over this.

Not much else to report - I think this is enough for one sitting! Will start posting a travelogue when I get up and running with the trips (no pics for the first part of the trip, though; I am not taking camera equipment to Louisville).

I feel terrific tonight, and wish all my days were like this. ::smile::

I'm On It Already!!!!

Sinus/ear infection got worse today... hurts all the way around the ears and down into the neck on both sides and my face is poofy. Doc changed the meds yesterday (did I say that already?) but also said it may take a day or two for them to kick in. I'm on a Cipro/Dex antibiotic/steroidal ear drop, and a big gun oral antibiotic in the Cipro family. This has *got* to knock this out! Meanwhile, compresses, lortab and lots of bed time.

Had two friends in different parts of the nation call today asking if I have been tested for C. diff... the "superbug" that is in the news today which causes such severe intestinal problems - problems remarkably similar to what I have been dealing with. However, I have been tested three times for C. diff... I wonder, though... could there be a new strain and they just can't quite get it with the cultures they have tested?? And could that explain why my immune system is so depressed that I am catching every little bug that comes down the line??

OK.. enough of that. Had dinner with my in-laws and youngest SIL - and Crash. He is remarkably defensive about EVERYTHING when he is around his sister... much moreso than I (though I admit it, I took the easy way out; there's a reason for xanax!) I just pleasantly sailed through the conversation and the meal (OMG what a meal) and gently took my leave of them. My FIL is not in good shape - he was very short on words tonight (VERY unusual) and obviously in pain from the hip he refuses to get checked. ::sigh:: If he doesn't do these things, life will REALLY suck for him, and soon. And somehow, he thinks he is going to Switzerland ALONE early next year to deal with some business there. Um. He's in his eighties and can't make it from the car to the grocery store unassisted; I don't see a SwissAir flight being particularly easier. ::is worried:: And I thought his middle daughter was stubborn. Damn.

Meeting with my prof today was, well, okay. It could have been so much better, but he and I got off on the wrong foot - I asserted something in my paper he didn't agree with, and I wouldn't back down... which led to a VERY spirited argument and finally a truce. For the rest of the hour and a half he just GRILLED me on the finer points of the books... and oh my, was he tough on me. Ahh well... take it as one more bump on the road to preparation for comps.

Suggested to Crash that we go downtown to the National Ornamental Metal Museum tomorrow. The day looks good weather-wise, and I am really itching to get out and go someplace different. We have the time - neither of us has a commitment tomorrow - so this might be the ideal day. Who knows when summer will be fully upon us?

Looking forward to a light weekend... and a chance to pack at a more leisurely pace than I usually have for trips like this. Don't get me wrong - there's lots to do - but I think I can manage this and not get all nuts over it.

Now, I think I will head to bed. Take care, y'all!

REALLY, Now, I Am Ready For This To Cease and Desist! @@

Crash and I had a date this morning - at the doc's office. He ended up missing a bus trip with the teachers at his school because he is under the weather, and I am sitting here going, dang, my ears hurt, because, doggone it, I have another sinus infection and this time it's accompanied by a bilateral ear infection.

Too much to do to put up with this!!

I want to sleep and sleep and sleep - probably a result of harboring an infection which is resistant to the antibiotic I finished day before yesterday - and boy, am I crabby... I mean really, really crabby (and so is he, frankly!). We're like two porcupines kissing.. OW OW OW OW OW.

Am finishing up the last of my reading tonight and have a paper to write, so I am really busy; planning on meeting with Dr. M tomorrow morning (PhD not MD) to discuss my reading and all... and then I think I can concetrate on getting fully ready for our trips.

Anyway, I think I am going to go read in bed with a compress on my ear... then switch sides so I can compress the other ear. This sucks.

And we didn't even have sunshine today as promised. ::pout:: I'm so disappointed!

Miss Crankypants V2.0

I was in a rotten mood this morning. All four times I got up, actually.

Unfortunately, I was so groggy and cranky by the fifth time that I took it out on Crash and spoiled his ebullient and effusive good mood in less than a split second when he came in and kissed me good morning and went to cheerfully wake me up. I am so sad I did that... it was an awful feeling, and I cried about it. Asked for a do-over on the day, which he was kind enough to give me.

But still, it dampened his mood, and I feel terrible about it.

The sixth time I got up I was in a very steady, controlled, calm mood. Not bouncy, not full of smiles and laughter, but not biting anyone's head off, either. Wish I could have mustered a little more sweetness and light, but it just wasn't there today.

It rained all night, so tilling the yard this morning was out of the question. Bah. We've really needed to get that done for weeks. So, no prospects for grass for another several weeks. At least.

The roses are just exploding. I watched them do so from my window; I was too cranky to go into the yard today, though doing so might have lifted my spirits some.

I think I figured out my Fall schedule, though ... I wil be taking an independent study with my geography/GIS prof (I would really like to get a publishable paper out of that), a stats course in the earth sciences department from another geography/GIS prof, and a research seminar in the history department (yay! history homework of the research type!!). And, I will be teaching evening classes again, either T/Th or M/W. Should know that by midsummer. Hope to know sooner, since I will need to plan my notes well in advance if I am teaching 2010; I've never taught first half American history and need some prep time over the summer. Yeah. One MORE thing.

Other than that, I have been in super-avoidance mode today... avoiding homework and grading like the plague. I have 70 exams to grade and two books to read and write papers on. I have plenty to do, and I had best be getting to it. ::sigh:: I really don't want to though. I'm just feeing burned out and stressed today.

Oh wait. I have a pill for that. ::palm to forehead:: Don't I have a pill for everything these days??

Vacation Watch: 47 days to go. ::whining:: Will it EVER get here?