BiddiesInMyBrain

Blue Boat Home

We sang Hyfrydol (hymn) today... so many different lyric sets to it, but my very favorite set is this, by Peter Mayer (Hymn 207 in the hymn supplement Singing the Journey by the UUA):

Though below me I feel no motion
Standing on these mountains and plains
Far away from the rolling ocean
Still my dry land heart can say
I've been sailing all my life now
Never harbor nor port have I known
The wide universe is the ocean I travel
And the Earth is my blue boat home

Sun, my sail and moon, my rudder
As I ply the starry sea
Leaning over the edge in wonder
Casting questions into the deep
Drifting here with my ship's companions
All we kindred pilgrim souls
Making our way by the lights of the heavens
In our beautiful blue boat home

I give thanks to the waves upholding me
Hail the great winds urging me on
Greet the infinite sea before me
Sing the sky my sailor's song
I was born upon the fathoms
Never harbor or port have I known
The wide universe is the ocean I travel
And the Earth is my blue boat home
The wide universe is the ocean I travel
And the Earth is my blue boat home


::smile:: It's got me waltzing today... I have a smile on my face and a lilt to my words. It's just a good day to be alive. 

Fantastic Commerical!!

I'm just loving it!

Under the Radar??

I've been outrageously busy, but I just couldn't let this one slip under the radar:

Palin Stylist Draws Higher Pay Than Policy Advisor

...Amy Strozzi, who works on the reality show "So You Think You Can Dance" and has been Palin's traveling stylist, was paid $22,800, according to campaign finance reports for the first two weeks in October. In contrast, McCain's foreign policy adviser, Randy Scheunemann, was paid $12,500, the report showed..."

Appalled. I am appalled.

But surprised I am not.

He's Regained My Respect

An open note to General Colin Powell (ret.)

Dear Sir:

As a general I respected your decisions even when I didn't agree with them; you were a humane man and used that humanity to make those decisions even though they sent young men and women to their deaths. You carried the burdens and sacrifices with you - and still do to this day. I respect that and admire you for that for there is no greater quality of character in a military leader.

However, when you became Secretary of State in the Bush administration I began to have my doubts. I'll grant that you initially worked brilliantly and beyond the limited grasp of the Administration and the President as a whole. You did a whole lot of good for this country. Then you went before the UN and told them of Saddam Hussein. I understand you believed the information was accurate at the time, but that faulty information led us into war. I was disappointed in you even while you tried to keep your integrity intact. You did the right thing in resigning when you did. I am now reevaluating the anger I have felt toward you in the past many years since that UN episode and its aftermath, and have realized I may have been unfair to you; my anger should have been more appropriately directed toward the Administration-at-large. For that I am sorry.

Today, though, you have redeemed yourself in my eyes with your eloquent, passionate and well-thought-out endorsement of Barack Obama. I was thrilled at the way you dissected both campaigns and delineated very carefully why you made your choice - it was impassioned, and I found my heart opening with joy for your honesty, despite your long-term relationship and friendship with John McCain. That must have been one of the most heart-wrenching decisions you have made since leaving the military, and I applaud you.

So, in sum, General Powell, kudos. If I ever have the opportunity, I will rush forward to shake your hand and be damn proud of it. You are truly a patriot and a statesman.

Laura Perry

Jena 6 Update

Hey you. Do you even remember the Jena 6?

Yeah. Like ongoing racism in the South. Young black kids who were denied their civil rights. Major demonstrations. Big issue in 2007.

What has happened? Where are they now? Does anyone even care?

Well, you should.

Here's an update from AOL's Black Voices feature area: Jena Six Anniversary: How Things Have Changed.

And this is a great site for keeping up with ongoing developments: The Jena 6 Blog

Don't let up. Fight the good fight. Do the right thing.

And damnit - don't let racism and any sort of privilege get in the way.

Go David Letterman!!!

Gently Parsing the Frustration

The anger which came out yesterday is at a slow simmer. We Unitarian Universalists think of ourselves as a "gentle, angry people" as the hymn goes, and that definitely describes how I feel today over the issue of white privilege. I am still angry - don't get me wrong - but I have a cooler, more thoughtful head about things today.

I am looking toward the things I *can* do. I can - and do - make tolerance an central principle in the classroom; I do not allow hazing, nor do I allow any form of speech that denigrates another human being. I consciously do not allow myself to fall into the mentality here - it would be so easy to do since the predominant identity around me is that of white privilege - and I push back against it when I see it. I take a stand.

However, I also admit that I *am* tired. Maybe it's that I am older and that I somehow expected that after 15 years things would have progressed... but instead, the same lines are drawn - and in fact, I think I see them even more clearly now. Then I think of the older people around me - black and white alike - who have fought this their *entire* lives and how they haven't given up hope... and it makes me feel like a heel for bitching about being tired. It's just that I have lived elsewhere and seen where it can and does work ... and this city just doesn't seem to *get* it. It's a very small, narrow-minded town in many ways. Yes, it is getting more cosmopolitan in many ways, but I think Nashville has beaten us on that account. It's no wonder that Nashville is outshining us in nearly every appreciable and measurable area of quality of life. They seem to be more effective at working out their problems - and are looking forward, not backward.

I just don't know how to approach it on any larger level. I tackle it personally... but in the larger milieu of things, is it really making a difference? I have no idea if I will ever be able to measure that - and that is perhaps the biggest frustration I have. I work best with feedback and encouragement... and to see no appreciable difference in the city... and to have to start over again every semester with the same lessons... well, I just don't know if I am doing anything but spinning my wheels.

White people around me know to curb their speech when it comes to these issues... but do they do it sincerely in their everyday lives? Do they think racially-motivated jokes are funny? Do they still flinch and lock their car doors whenever they see a black man at a stoplight? I don't know. And I will never know. And is it really my business to influence them to change their lives? If it isn't, then how else are we ever going to enact change... real, lasting change? I believe in personal responsibility for one's actions. Do these people believe they are being responsible, or is there at least an element of shame in their subconscious? If there *is* shame, there is hope... but if there isn't, I don't know that we will *ever* reach them... or the next generation.

Like I said, it's toxic... and it's eating me up inside. I want to live someplace where I can be unequivocally proud of my city - even through its problems - because I know that there is a real, strong and visibly active movement to enact positive and tangible change. I want to go back to living in a progressive city which passes legislation that actually helps people rather than so much self-interest and corruption. And I wish that city were Memphis.

But it's not. And more's the pity.

Still Pondering the Anger

Wow.

I've gotten a lot of e-mail tonight about my last post, and it's made me think a lot about what I said.

I'm not kidding about the racial issues - the white privilege issues - that exist in this city.

But I think I was a little harsh on the efforts that are being made on behalf of meeting halfway. There *are* some people who are working hard to make a difference. It's just that until that difference can be manifested in even a vocal minority, there isn't going to be change... and until more people in pulpits and congregations and board rooms and school rooms REALLY teach tolerance and love (not to say that they aren't there - there are some damn good efforts out there... but dang... there just aren't enough!!) - and disengage from this whole idea of privilege - there is no hope of that succeeding. NONE.

But nobody - at least *very* few whites in this town - seem to want to look inward to deal with those snap judgments ... the same ones that seal fates all over the South. Those that say separation is better, that private schools are better than public schools, that discomfort in mixed social and religious situations is ok. I want to see DELIBERATE action. Real, positive, assertive, gentle action - the same kind of direct action King and Gandhi talked about - to look inside and remake this city, this region and this nation.

I *do* see some of that happening - don't get me wrong - and I see it the best of it in higher education. Unfortunately, the people who graduate University.. black, white, Asian, African, Hispanic, European... are not as likely to stick around here - the atmosphere is just so toxic that people really want to leave once they have opportunity. The best and the brightest tend to be lured away... and those who stay get beaten down by the constant... well, the constant inability of good folks to stand up year after year, decade after decade, to the racism and the privilege.

I have lived here for 15 years ... and I am just... tired of it. The Gandhi/King conference is coming and I want so much to take part in it... but I am so discouraged. Maybe it's all the talk right now that Memphis is such a "progressive" or "liberal" city in such a conservative state. No, I am sorry. I have lived in progressive, liberal cities - and this one is not one of them.

I'll continue to try - don't get me wrong. But you can bet that I will seek other opportunities in other places if they come my way.

And the city wonders why the tax base is just... floating away.

Get real already.

Dealing with an Unexpected Burst of Anger

I've had this *wonderful* day today ... it's been rainy, yes, but I have been busy and accomplishing things all day long.

So, the burst of anger that erupted when a friend sent me an op-ed piece from the New York Times really surprised me.

Branson is not all that far from Memphis... and Memphis is definitely a little blue dot in a vast sea of red, so it would seem I should be happy to see this apparently like area in our geographic vicinity.

But, I'm not.

Memphis has a good history of being a liberal stronghold the past several decades - and even before desegregation was known as a relatively progressive city. However, don't let the facade fool you.

There are deep lines of demarcation here. And I'll bet they're in Branson, too - but the reporter was too white to see them.

You see, we are a town - and a region - of white privilege.

A man walks into a gun shop in Memphis... or Branson. If he's white... he's a gun enthusiast and a patriot. If he's black... he's someone to fear and has criminal intent.

A man drives a tricked-out SUV in Memphis... or Branson. If he's white, he's merely affluent and a representative of the American dream. If he's black, he's involved in the drug trade.

A white kid in a school uniform is walking down the street at 2:30 pm ... he's simply been dismissed from school. A black kid in a school uniform is walking down the street at 2:30 pm ... he's a truant and up to no good.

White men and women standing on a street corner holding up signs and shouting out their support for their chosen candidate in a presidential race are 'doing their part for democracy'. Black men and women standing on a street corner holding up signs and shouting out their support for their chosen candidate in a presidential race are misguided, uppity and inciting a riot.

Do you see where I am going with this?

There are deep, clear lines of demarcation in this city - and throughout the South - a vile vestige of segregation and a mindset of white privilege.

It's not just seen in the places of worship - very few black men and women go to certain Presbyterian churches, just as very few white men and women attend COGIC services, for example - but it is seen in the snap decisions people make on the street and around the town about racial difference. The above examples I gave barely scratch the surface.

However, most people are terribly, horribly apathetic about doing anything. They are attached to the television and unwilling to get out in the heat or cold and actually motivate to do something about these issues.

The only people who are forced to get out and interact on a regular basis are our public schoolkids - and you see how well that works. Constant disruptions, guns in schools, racial slurs and epithets... and kids segregate themselves in the lunchroom and between classes.

There is no culture of oneness, no hope of understanding until the larger culture changes. And I see no hope of that happening right now. Until the larger racial divides are breached within the larger society, until the ideas of white privilege - and you can't tell me that a majority of this problem ISN'T that of white privilege - are eradicated there will never be any form of true progress.

Memphis and Branson may claim to be progressive, liberal cities... but just live here a while and really, truly look. Just as in the Op-Ed piece, there is an assumption of white privilege on which that progressive liberalism is based... and you need to ask yourself if that is really progress after all.

Pleasantly Moving Through Life Today

It's been a good day.

Woke up and headed to church - choir rehearsal, a lovely church service for Association Sunday (what a sermon!), and POTLUCK! Man, can Unitarians cook! Bill's sermon really hit the spot and was just ... well, it was very warm and inviting and full of collegial spirit alongside our brethren across the country. So lovely! The potluck was equally satisfying, with great company and great food... and my tummy didn't act up at all. (YAY!)

Came home, took a nap (and how) and got up to work on the dissertation stuff. I've been organizing the data on my computer and now have everything in one place, in one folder (named DISSERTATION. hah. how original! LOL) and ready to use. Once in the folder I took stock and found the big holes and will dive in to deal with them soonest - over the next several days and weeks - and know what I am doing, finally. I don't have this feeling that I am adrift on a big, stormy sea right now.

Now? I am taking a break - we just ate dinner - and am getting ready to take care of a few loose ends for my students - I have to get the power points for the week posted, and since we're having a short week, that means I need to revise my lecture/power points to reflect that. Also need to do some grading, and some stats homework. But, my main focus this week is the dissertation. I am so glad. It's long since overdue.

I had hoped for a sunny day, but it was cloudy... but you know, if it had been sunny I think it would have been a distraction. Even cloudy days are blessings sometimes.

::smile::